Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Dear Annoymous...

I don't have time for a real post - Chris is sick and after spending yesterday having tests run at the hospital we still don't know what is wrong with him so Brayden and I are at mom's. I am exhausted, frustrated that they don't know what is wrong, and sad that I am not with him.



But I do want to take a brief second to address the annoymous comment on my last post...



Dear Annoymous,



Please understand that while I do share a lot of information on this blog, I most certainly didn't share every medical detail surrounding my pregnancy. Therefore, you can't say that my c-section was unnessecary and that my son's condition might have been prevented. It wouldn't have been. Brayden was going to have PPHN no matter what. I talked extensively with his neonatologists about it - because of course I blamed myself. But they all agreed that this was going to happen even if I had been overdue. In fact, had I gone longer before delivering him it could have been worse.



While I'm sure it wasn't your intention to place blame on me, or to infer that I might have done a better job as a mom to wait longer to have him, I did want to take a moment and address your comments.



Thanks for your concern.

79 comments:

Amy said...

Hi Jenna,
So sorry someone left an unkind post! And sorry to hear Chris isn't feeling well. I will be praying for you all. Brayden is beautiful and you are blessed. You know the truth and God is sovereign over all.
God Bless.

Carla J. Winn aka cj aka nannie said...

What are people thinking???? How dare she/he write something like that when they are not walking in your shoes. I for one know it wasn't your fault,[it's called research!] Trust in the Lord as you have been, the ol' devil is trying to test yall and I would give you an A+. I love your blog and will keep praying for Chris and Brayden. Thank God you are a positive person.Don't let that one person ruin your thoughts of Praise. Hugs cj

kim_brough said...

People are idiots and please don't let that discourage you from keeping up your blog for those of us who really enjoy it. Hope Chris feels better soon!

Shannon said...

Jenna, you do not have to explain yourself to anyone. We all know you would do everything that is in Brayden's best interest. I hope people don't get you down. I hope Chis gets better soon!

Brooke said...

Wow, people need to mind their own business. Sheesh. I agree. Please don't let other people's unkind words bother you. We all know you are a great mother and enjoy reading your posts. Hope you hubby gets better soon!

mary said...

I will be praying for your husband!!!

I just read the comment, sounds like she was not trying to attack you, but it was out of place.
it does not matter because you have your healthy baby on your side!!!

capperson said...

Wow I can't believe someone woudl say something like that. How Rude!!! I will keep your husband in my prayers.

Abigail Hutchinson said...

Hey girl..so sorry to hear about Chris, I'll be praying for him! and the pics of Brayden before the wedding and at church are all so adorable....and to the other part of the post...
I think people who post annoymous should be slapped. If you can't say it with your name and pic up there, you probably shouldn't be saying it. man that makes me mad! If you don't like what you "think I did..." get off my blog dang it! Hang in there girl! You are a great mother with a handsome baby boy! Now we just need Chris to get better so ya'll can all be together!
Have a great evening!
~Abigail

Al's World said...

Some people need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves no matter how well intentioned..ugh! I am so sorry that they said that. I am also so sorry to hear that Chris is not feeling well...my husband had some health concerns, so I know how that is.

Leah said...

Jenna,

I read your blog and found you through Jennifer Francis' (she and I grew up together from k-12!) Anyhow, I can't believe someone left a comment about your being induced and a c-section leading to Brayden's difficulties you were having. That is terrible. I too was induced (had a baby girl in November) and ended in a c-section and while my baby girl was fine, had I not ever been induced or had the c-section, my daughter and I both would have had serious complications and pre c-sections, would've died, due to my cervix for some reason having a hard scar tissue-like rim around it, preventing me from ever dilating (despite the dr. making incisions into my cervix in hopes of helping me dilate.. no luck). So anyhow, sorry that was drawn out about myself, but I feel for you and hate that someone would have to audacity to say that your decisions led to Brayden's condition. That is terrible!!

The Crocks said...

I hate anonymous comments. People are lame. Just don't pay attention to what that person said. You know why you got the c-section and that's all that matters. :) Sorry to hear your husband is sick. I hope they find out what's wrong and everyone is healthy again soon!!

Bethany said...

Hahahaha that is a nice conclusion that Anonymous came up with! Seriously ... people are crazy sometimes!

Meredith said...

Jenna, I will be praying for Chris! Please know I am also praying for you and Brayden as well! Brayden really is a cutie pie!

Rach said...

I hope Chris gets better soon so you can get back home! As for the comment it is just a classic response when someone comes in the middle of a story and doesn't have all the facts in the first place.

You are an awesome mommy!!!!

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

I can't believe someone blamed ou for his condition. People are so rude and it was not your fault at all. Do not blame yourself.Hope Chris feels better soon.

Jamie said...

I have my babies by c-sections and I hate how many people offer their "medical opinion" when they find this out. With my first, both of us would have died if I didn't have a c-section. People seem to think it is okay to tell me that my doctor didn't know what he was doing though when he advised me to have a c-section. And then when people found out I wasn't having a VBAC, it was even worse.

Hang in there!! Your baby is adorable and I hope your husband gets better soon. And don't listen to the naysayers, even if she wasn't ill intentioned. To suggest that there was anything that you could have done to prevent this is TERRIBLE. It is all in the Lord's hands. And thank goodness for medical procedures that the lives of women who would otherwise die in childbirth, myself included.

JKPeterson said...

The only people that matter are you and your family. I pray that Chris is ok, and that you are all feeling better. I am sorry there are so many miserable "annoymous" people that have nothing better to do.

Just remember that sharing your story, may help another new mom or baby in the NICU.

Thanks, Jenna

Candace said...

Hello Jenna, I am sorry that you had to deal with a comment from someone that doesn't even know the whole situation. I read her comment and am sure that she didn't mean any harm, however, it was still a little too personal. I can speak from experience, I too had a scheduled c-section, and my daughter had to spend almost a week in Children's hospital away from me because of some intestinal problems when she was born, and to this day I still wonder if the c-section was the reason for this, but the Dr's assure me that it wasn't. It would have happened anyway. So... don't let that bother you. You know you did everything you could for your precious baby boy. God love ya, and hope your hubby is doing better soon!

Midwest Mommy said...

Wow! People write this stuff. You are an amazing mom.

KLC said...

I read the anonymous comment and I don't think he/she meant to blame you or offend you, but nobody has the right to question your choices in regards to the birth of your child! Anonymous comments suck... If you have something to say, don't hidebehind being "anonymous" because then you have no credibility in my book!!

Hope your husband gets better soon!!!!

Susy said...

I am a long time reader and first time commenter! I found you through Kelly, and then I saw that your favorite NICU nurse was a childhood friend (we are also from the same hometown as Scott Stamps..small world!) so I have to come back and check on that ADORABLE little boy! How awful for someone to cross the line and say that to you. It was horribly inappropriate, to say the least. I hope it hasn't upset you too much. I can be quite the blog stalker because I never leave comments, but I just had to say shame on you anonymous! Play nice and mind your own business!!

ginger said...

You go Jenna!
I didn't go back & read the comment you are referring to. But here's what I do: I have the registered users button marked on the settings/comments options where I manage my blog. People usually think twice about what they write when they have to identify themselves. I know I do.
I had all kinds of doubts when my son had to be in intensive care after he was born & no one ever figured out what was really wrong. You do what you have to for the health & welfare of your child. That is enough.

tara said...

hi jenna! sorry for any added stress during this difficult time. I will say a prayer that Jesus will out stretch his healing hand upon your husband and your family will be together again soon.
Rest in the Lord, -tara

The Allens said...

Wow, Jenna! I don't read others comments, but I went back and read this one after your post. I absolutely know what it is like to have others offer their opinions on your decisions with delivery. I am glad you had the confidence to respond the way you did. With Love, Sara

Kendra said...

Oh Jenna...I am so sorry. How frustrating!!! I wish people could abide by the old saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
You are a GREAT mother, and God has been in control of Brayden's life since before he was conceived.
Don't second guess yourself.
Will be praying for Chris!
HUGS!!!
kendra

Kelly said...

Jenna - I turned off anonymous comments because of stuff like that. You don't need to explain anything - you are a good mom.
Hope Chris gets better soon. Hope you don't catch anything!

Jeff and Steph said...

Hi, I don't know you but I check you blog all of the time! I agree with all of the people on here- why on earth would someone- who can't even leave their name- feel the need to include their medical opinion? Is anonymous a doctor? So obnoxious! You're baby boy is super cute!!

Anonymous said...

Tell annoyomous that if she doesn't like what she reads, then don't read your blog! If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Your son is beautiful and wonderful and healthy. You worry about your husband and that baby, and just don't worry about what other people think! Margaret

Amanda said...

How incredibly rude! I hate anonymous comments. Brayden is doing well now and that is all that matters! I hope Chris gets to feeling better soon!

Jaci said...

Hope your husband gets better and you can go home soon! he is getting so big

Judy said...

You're a great mom! To God be the glory for everything he's brought Brayden through!! Birthing babies is such a controversial topic and quite frankly I think God's plan for each mom and each baby is different! I should have had a c-section with my first child, but I didn't listen to my midwife, I listened to the doctor (go figure - big mistake) and as a result ended up with a baby whose heart was not beating and who wasn't breathing! By the grace of God he is with me today! I'm sure you made the best choice based on the circumstances and medical situation (which none of us bloggers fully know)!!
I hope Chris is better soon!!

Jenifer Parris said...

Jenna, LOVE reading your blog and keeping up with Brayden! Hate to hear that Chris is sick and hate even worse that it means you guys have to be apart! Sending prayers up for all of you. Can't beleiev about the comment! I agree with Kelly...turn off those anonymous ones. :) The nerve!

Tracy said...

Oh Jenna,

There will be many days of idiots trying to tell you what is best for your sweet boy. Only you and your husband can truly know what is best for Brayden. God knew what He was doing when He gave you your boy ... and He smiled knowing how perfect Brayden would be for you and you for him. Brayden's illness wasn't because of anything you did or didn't do ... but rather God's plan for your family to show in the early days how big He is. You have handled these days with grace and wisdome ... and, above all else you have glorified God. And He has been pleased.

I found your blog through my other stranger friend, Kelly (HA!) right when Brayden was born. I told my sister she had to read your story and she is now hooked (she is a bit of showoff with her techy ability because she has Brayden's button on her blog!) ... I can't wait to read about the young man he becomes. God has something amazing planned for him! Until then, I will continue to "stalk" you from Texas!

Jennifer said...

Some people need to get a LIFE! I don't understand people nor would I even begin to try.

Keep up updated on Chris.

In our thoughts and prayers

Blessing
Jennifer

Aishlea & Brandon said...

Hi, Jenna. I have followed your blog for a few months now. I found you thru Kelly's Korner. I love reading your blog but have never commented before. You shouldn't have had to deal with that post. How incredibly rude and insensitive! One look at your pics and the words you write about your son and I can tell you are a great, devoted mom! Thanks for giving me such great stuff to read!

Mummy2LeonaLex said...

Hey Jenna im delurking myself!! been reading for a few weeks im so glad Braydens doin better now and dont let "anonnymous" get to you, i actualy think this person was trying to get at you and its uncalled for. Please dont blame yourself xx

Erika said...

Jenna, I'm so sorry you're getting comments like that. I too have had c-sections with my kids - the first was necessary and probably saved my uterus and my ability to have more children! I now have repeat c-sections and I'm perfectly fine with it. Why people feel the need to judge or immediately assume that every c-section is unnecessary is beyond me. People need to keep their opinions to themselves sometimes, especially when they don't know all the facts.

I'll keep praying for you all. I'm sorry to hear that Chris is sick, I hope he feels better soon!

Linda said...

Jenna,
I think it is awful for anyone to post something that would question your decisions and love for your son and family. Who in the world do they think they are anyway?? They need to get a life and follow the old adage...' If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all "..!!!
your blog shows what a devoted wife and mother you are.. perhaps it made them feel superior to make someone else feel bad..that is a BULLY !!
OK, enough ranting from me.
I continue to pray for all of your family and surely hope Chris will be well soon. Brayden is a precious little boy.. Give him a hug for this old Alabama Grandmother.
Hugs to you too !
Linda G.

Heather said...

Sorry for the rude anonymous comment! Some people need to either keep their opinions to themselves or at least own up to them! Keep posting! Brayden is a cutie!

mrosev14 said...

Hello Jenna,

Good for you for addressing anonymous' comment, but she really didn't deserve your attention. You are your physicians obviously did what they/you thought was in the best interest of the mom and baby. Whatever, to someone who stick their nose in others business and then criticize. I am praying for you, Brayden and Chris. I am sorry he will feeling so crummy and you are so tired...feel better.
:) Meg

Pam said...

Jenna, Sorry to hear that Chris is ill. Hope he is better soon. As for the anonoymous commenter, I say if you want to type something that is offensive to someone be big enough to do it yourself instead of hiding behind the anonoymous button. People can be so small!!!!
Pam

Anonymous said...

I hope your husband gets better soon - also, I hope you do not get anymore negative comments!

j3k said...

I'm sorry Chris isn't feeling well. It must be in the husbandry air. My husband is never sick and we've had him at the dr. 3x's in the last month. I'm sorry some people find it upon themselves to leave unkind comments. Every pregnancy is different and every delivery is different and hindsight is always 20/20. I know many woman that have gone over there due dates and bad things have happened. So you never know. You have to trust your drs and trust god and you did both and you now have a gorgeaous son!!!! Take care and know that you are a great mom that did nothing wrong!

Hearts and Hugs
Marie

Wunderwoman said...

I will be praying for your husband. You have an adorable son! I think if someone is going to comment, then they should comment under their NAME and not anonymous. I love reading your blog:)

CB said...

I've prayed for Brayden from the beginning but have never posted before. My only child was a C-Section. About 5 days before my due date. And it was because I just plain asked if we could go ahead and schedule one. There was no medical emergency, but a pretty good indication that my pelvis was too narrow. The doctor agreed and I have NEVER EVER regretted my decision. These kinds of things are personal. Everyone has their own opportunity to make the choices about their life. Don't ever feel badly for the way things turned out. We know that God was and is in control the entire time!!!!

Jen said...

Jenna,
I'm so sorry that somebody felt the need to say those things! I, too, was induced (5 days early)...and not for a medical condition, but b/c my doctor felt it was appropriate and I was just ready. People tried to talk me out of induction, but I trusted my doctor and all was fine. I would certainly do so again, if my doctor approved, of course.

Brayden is adorable! I love seeing pictures of him! :)

ajourney said...

Preying for Chris and dont let yourself or anyone else make you blame your self when you feel blame look at your handsome lil boy

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is probably a malpractice attorney!!! My husband is an OB-GYN and women are induced daily in his hospital. This practice is not unusual at all...in fact, it's become the norm.

Jennifer said...

Jenna, Do not for one second feel that you have to explain yourself to anyone. I was induced and ended up with a c-section and Brody was perfectly healthy. And I wasn't induced for any other reason then my dr was on call and I was most comfortable with her being there with me. I get so sick of people acting as if c-sections are the end of the world and for that matter, acting as though we caused them because we were induced. Brayden is healthy and happy and God received so much glory from his situation so for that I am sooo thankful!:)

I hope Chris feels better soon!!

Rachel said...

I read that comment yesterday and was shocked that someone would do that!! I agree with everyone else, you are a great Mom and your baby is the sweetest!! Hope your husband gets better soon...

Heather said...

So sad that some people feel the need to bring others down just to make themselves feel better about themselves. You are an amazing mother and you have an amazing little boy. I will be praying for Chris and continue to pray for you and Brayden.
Hugs and prayers,
Heather~ On the Homefront

MMM said...

Hang in there Jenna. Praying for Chris.

Anonymous said...

My husband is an OB-GYN and I chose to have an elective c-section. Everything was pre-planned so that it worked out with my maternity leave from work. No contractions, no labor. We had our first baby girl via c-section, which we scheduled on my due date. Good thing...she weighted almost 10 pounds. I'm sure "anonymous" would really love to hear that! :)

HeatherOz said...

I can't believe you have to defend yourself on your own blog!!!! Can you block certain people from coming back? I can not stand people who judge other people's situations and circumstances. I am so upset and sorry that ANYONE would dare question your circumstance. Sorry!
Praying for your family!
Heather

Kristen said...

Hope your hubby is feeling better soon and ignore "anonymous" - no one knows what happened 100% except for you and you certainly don't need to give anyone an explanation!

Rebecca said...

Jenna- I read the comment that was posted and was shocked someone would write that. Her comment was made in complete ignorance and what you and your physicians decide is best for yourself and your baby is no one else's business. Don't ever second guess the decisions you make and will make as a mother based on strangers uneducated comments. You are the only one that will ever know what is best for Brayden!

Leslie from Tulsa said...

She probably didn't intend to be mean, but you were there and she wasn't. With you, I am grateful that Brayden is doing so well and looking so wonderful. He's a doll. You and Chris are loving parents, worthy of praise, not condemnation. God bless all three of you.

Shaila Creekmore said...

I am a C-Section mommy too. Both of my sons were scheduled C-Secs. My doctor told me that my pelvis is so narrow that he was not comfortable delivering me and he is considered one of the very best OB's in the area. Afterwards when my son weighed 8lbs 1 oz, he said that I would have been one of the women who died in childbirth prior to C-Sec. And yet I still have people that tell me I should have at least tried. I don't understand. Why should any of us risk our lives or our babies lives when C-Sec. are safe and available. I'm sure there are husbands in 3rd world countries right now wishing there had been one available to their late wife. I'm always amazed at how judgemental some mothers can be toward each other.

And I'm so sorry Chris is sick! I hope he gets better soon and they know what's wrong! Keep us posted. I'll be praying.

Catherine said...

I'm so sorry that stupid people have attacked yoru blog. I am 4 weeks post a c-section..not planned but I was being induced and Sarah was not going to come..Good thing I decided to be induced and then had the emergency c-section..as they did not know that she was having problems until she was out..She's perfect now...and keeping me up nights...but I would NEVER change the way she came into the world. Ignore the idiots out there :)

mumameee said...

Thinking of you & Chris xo

Natalie said...

I too have never left a comment but want you to know I prayed for Brayden and checked on him through some nurse friends from the very begining. I wanted to say I have never had my feelings hurt worse until becoming a mother. There will be old ladies in Walmart commenting on you feeding your baby crackers while you shop. My son fell and knocked out a tooth (get ready for boys) and I had a person tell me if he had enough calcium that wouldn't happen...and I actually cried:) I can't say don't let it bother you because I know it did but I am proud of you for standing up for yourself AND Brayden.

Christy said...

I am so sorry that someone left a comment like that for you. Regardless of anything, God was in control of it all, EVERYthing that took place. I am praying for you and your family. Especially Chris tonight.

Amy said...

I can't believe people can be so cruel... I'm so sorry you have to read those nasty things but I hope you take comfort in the fact that the majority of people who follow your blog faithfully and pray daily for your family and for Brayden's health (and now that Chris will get better soon) are here WITH you and NOT against you. Praying for Chris to get better and to find out what's wrong with him!

-Amy

Serenity said...

Gotta love it when the "crazies" come out! My prayers and thoughts go out the Chris and hoping a speedy recovery!

Bethany said...

Good grief. Some people need to get a life. You're a great mother!!

Sher said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amanda said...

Wow, Jenna I'm so sorry that someone felt the need to criticize you like that. You open yourself up and share a personal story and your life with us and that should be treated with respect. How rude and unkind. You are terrific Mommy to Brayden and will make mistakes along the way as ALL Mommies (and Daddies)do. It just goes with the territory as mistakes are part of life. But giving birth when you did, no, that wasn't a mistake at all. That was God giving you the urging you needed and your maternal instincts kicking in to know that it was time for your son to be born. Way to go for following your instincts!

How frustrating and scary to not know what is wrong with Chris. I am glad you are able to be at your mom's during this time. I will continue to pray for your family.

bethy said...

Hi there! I come to you through Kelly's blog...long time reader, first time to comment. I couldn't not tell you that I am glad you addressed the annoymous comment. You know I think I agree with another who said that its stuff from the devil. I followed you all since Brayden was born and I saw you giving God glory through a time most of us might question His mercy and power. I will pray that The Lord would heal your busband! I am hopeful and encouraged by your story and you have a beautiful family!!!

Caryn C. Foresee said...

OMG! I cannot believe that someone wrote a negative post on your blog! What a mess! I ws so glad that yal were able to come to church n Sunday! I cannot wait to meet you and that sweet baby boy!!

The Horn Family said...

Gosh, I'm sorry that someone would say something like that to you. I had a C-section because my boy was born at 32 weeks and was transverse- even without him being breech they said that if I hadn't had one he might not have been able to make it through the birth canal due to his small size. I know how it feels when you feel like you're the only person that could have caused your own baby not to come out "normal" without any problems and people who never experience that, it seems, just don't know how that feels. I had several people who made comments that were just hurtful- whether or not they ment it that way. But now you've got a adorable healthy boy!

Brian and Kelly said...

Hi Jenna,

I have followed for a while through Kelly's blog but this is the first time I have commented. I am so glad to see little Brayden is so healthy. When he and Harper were both so sick, I would just sit and read these posts and tear up just thinking about these precious gifts from God that were struggling. But they are both so healthy today, and that is so wonderful to see God's mighty work! People who write things like that to you have no business saying anything because they don't know the situation....and even if they did, it's still not their business. I had an elective c-section due to complications with my first delivery and everything was as smooth as could be...I had him a week early and he weighed almost 10 lbs. so good thing I had the c-section. Anyway, a lot of people these days don't even realize how common they are and that the drs. do what they need to do in order to keep the mother and the baby safe. Everything happens for a reason and God knew exactly what He was doing. I'm glad you addressed the situation and hopefully you won't get anymore rude comments!
Kelly

Kim said...

You don't own anybody an explanation for anything! I love your blog! We are getting ready to welcome Braeden Steven to our family. Please keep him & his parents in your prayers if you think about it. His mom has gestational diabetes, he is breech, so they are going to take him early by c-section next Friday. They are so young & this is their first so they are very nervous.

Kim said...

You don't own anybody an explanation for anything! I love your blog! We are getting ready to welcome Braeden Steven to our family. Please keep him & his parents in your prayers if you think about it. His mom has gestational diabetes, he is breech, so they are going to take him early by c-section next Friday. They are so young & this is their first so they are very nervous.

Melanie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Melanie said...

I also wanted to add....

To anonymous,

C-sections can be either emergency, necessary or elective. Every woman has the right to choose. The c-section comment was unnecessary, and if you personally are against them, keep it on your blog, your time. You may have meant well but when speaking to others, think before you speak, in this case, type. Choose your words carefully because on the internet or in writing, they may come across out of context.


The best to all of you.

April said...

uhgg! Its real easy to speak you mind when you label yourself annoymous. I completly understand the emotional struggle with the NICU my son was in there for almost 2 weeks and I think that was the most emotionally exhausting two weeks of my entire life.
As for Annoymous different opinions are always welcome in the blogsphere it is hard to make such a strong judgement without knowing the entire situation.

ilovepink said...

So glad to hear all is well! Brayden is precious!!! I was induced a week early with no medical explanation. My baby is healthy and the delivery was much better than my first which, was not scheduled! I guess that commenter knows what is best for everyone huh? ONLY God is in control!!!

Lindsey Kate said...

Delurking to say this ... I don't know what it is about motherhood that causes all kinds of folks to come crawling out of the woodwork with opinions they feel compelled to share. I've been a mom for nearly 10 years, and if I had a dollar for every time someone has made a "suggestion" about something they feel I should or should not have done, I'd be quite rich by now. I'm sorry someone stooped low enough to be tacky on your blog, but more than likely it won't be the last time. The more you share about your life, the more people will find to criticize. I just wanted to encourage you to not let the trolls of the world silence you. Many people have been blessed through reading the stories of God's work in your family, including me.

Praying for Chris to make a quick recovery!

Heather said...

Hi Jenna! I am SOO behind on reading blogs so I am just now seeing this and I am SORRY! What in the world?!?! I am saying a prayer right now that God would allow you to forget that comment ever happened and just rejoice in your sweet boy and all the miracles God has done for you and your family!
Happy belated anniversary and I am so glad Chris is better!
I love reading your blog and think you are a GREAT mom! Brayden is a CUTIE!!!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
Blogging tips