I announced back in August that we had made the decision to add another child to our family via adoption. I also promised to share as openly as I am allowed to (legally) about our process. If you've missed anything up to this point, I have all of our adoption posts in order here:
Our Big Annoucement
First Adoption Update
Home Study: Part One
Home Study: Part Two
He Gives and Takes Away: An Adoption Update
So, it's December and we are in month 4 of our wait to be matched. We had another birth mom decide to place her baby with another family (this was in the last 2 weeks, so there wasn't a separate post on it). So far, that's two moms who have "rejected"us, and one who decided to parent.
I'm going to be really super honest here.
I started this blog after 2+ years of infertility. I can only imagine what I would have written here during those years. I can guarantee you it wasn't pretty. I was SO angry. I couldn't understand why God would put us through that. I was upset, hurt, mad, you name it.
I think my family expected me to be like that during this process as well. Because, yes, you can look at this a lot of ways, and one of them is like you are being "rejected."
But that isn't how I look at it. I can't tell you how happy I am for those other families who were picked or matched or whatever you'd like to call it. Seriously, I'm SO happy for them. I know a lot of families who are on lists like we are don't have any kids, and this will be their first baby. How awesome is it that they will get to experience parenthood!!!
It took me a LONG time to realize that God is in complete and total control and an even longer time to realize that I WANT HIM TO BE! I'm a planner. A scheduler. You can look at my life and easily see that about me. So handing over control to God in certain aspects of my life is way, way harder than I want it to be. So, I went into this knowing that God has a plan. After all, He led us here, to this decision. That's for a reason! There is a purpose! I believe that whole-heartedly.
So, we may be rejected dozens more times. This might go on longer than our attorney thinks it will. We could be waiting 6 months or a year or longer.
But I will wait and I refuse to complain. God is doing BIG things. I know that to be true and I will give Him my full and complete trust. I will continue to pray for our future daughter and her birth family. God knows who they are, even if we don't yet.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (NIV)
Thank you to my blog and twitter friends who are always asking about the adoption process. I love to talk about it and I love that you are thinking about us and praying for us. Also, I recently opened up a blog facebook page, so if you want to check in there for updates, here is the link. You can also find me on twitter @Jenna05.
For those who have taken the time to share their experiences with me, thank you! I read every single comment and email and I appreciate them all. I love hearing your stories!