Wednesday, February 17, 2010

So Long Bad Friend!

I am about to start reading this book:

And by "about to start reading" I mean it's sitting right here next to me waiting for me to quit clicking away on this laptop. In other words, once I've written this post, I'm picking it up.

But, prior to reading the book, I thought maybe it might be a good idea to be aware of some of my insecurities. That way, as I go through it, I can make the choice to let the words affect me directly, and perhaps affect the way I think about those specific things.

I'm not going to list all of my insecurities. If I did, I'd miss the conference because I'd still be sitting here typing away. So I'm going to pick a few - the biggest few and start there.

1. I always think people don't like me.
I am a big believer in not judging others, because I never want someone to pre-judge me based on what they think they know or have heard. But yet, here I am being judgmental because I am assuming that people automatically don't like me.

2. I don't think anyone wants to be my friend.
That's like the opposite of a YoGabbaGabba song or something. But seriously, I struggle with not feeling like I fit in, not feeling like I'm accepted. I am sensitive to a fault, always thinking and sadly, assuming that I am, for whatever reason, not worthy of another s friendship. Shyness, for me, ties into this. I am incredibly shy with people I don't know well. I think, on occasion, shyness is interpreted as something else.

3. How I look.
I think if you polled 100 women, 99 of them would list this as an insecurity. TV and magazines really feed this insecurity with their photoshopped people and camera tricks. I get that. But it still makes the rest of us feel ... well ... insecure. I could be thinner, blonder, taller, have perfect skin...and I still wouldn't compare to the magic of photoshopping. And I need to be okay with that. This is probably the one I've personally worked on the most, because I realize that this is how God made me and He doesn't make mistakes!

So what are some of your insecurities? Do you share any of mine??
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